05 May 2009

Swine Flu Sentient!

The H1N1 virus, more popularly known as swine flu, may have mutated a new sentient strain, say researchers. If so, it is the first sentient illness that can affect humans.

"If the H1N1 virus is indeed sentient, then we all will surely die," said Dr. Norman Uley. "Humans don't stand a chance against a virus that can think and plan."

The virus is already showing signs of planning abilities. Certain strains are able to suppress symptoms for a few days, long enough to spread.

"The virus knows that symptoms are a clear giveaway that someone is sick and that other potential hosts will shy away, especially in this environment of panic. . . . I predict that the virus will have infected us all with these guerrilla tactics within 2 months, maybe less. Everyone should start settling their affairs immediately."

So there you have it, folks. We will all be dead by years end. If I don't get infected by then, tomorrow I will post an item on who will inherit the earth once all of the humans are dead.

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