08 May 2009
Pope Benedict Endorses Terrorism!
During a pilgrimage to the Middle-East, the current Pope, Benedict XVI, expressed his "deep respect" for terrorism. He also reportedly said "Dark Side . . . Islam . . . complete," before vanishing into the shadows from whence he came.
According to Norman Uley, an important figure in the Catholic Church, "If the Pope desires us to commit acts of terrorism, it is clearly God's will. We will destroy America by any means necessary. All of us."
When contacted for comment, the Pope hissed, mumbled "Dark Side," and was silent.